NFL final results ATS, week 13 (One Eye On the Playoffs Edition)

Guess “homefield advantage” still really means something in the NFL: According to the bookmakers, a whopping five visitors – the New Orleans Saints, Indianapolis Colts, Chicago Bears, Kansas City Chiefs and Carolina Panthers – were reckoned to be favorites. All five lost ATS, and only the Chiefs won outright.

Throw in the Green Bay Packers’ most recent loss and subsequent dismissal of coach plus impressive wins by the Seattle Seahawks, Los Angeles Chargers and Houston Texans, and NFLbets is already earmarking Moneys (NFLbets’ preferred form of currency) for playoff matches.

Below runs a complete list of results for week 13 in NFLbets’ standard format, i.e. adjusted for the point spread; all results listed in boldface indicate games in which the SU winner did not cover the spread. Comments, questionable humor and the occasional salient point courtesy NFLbets writer/editor Os Davis.

• Dallas Cowboys 13, New Orleans Saints 2
• Jacksonville Jaguars 10, Indianapolis Colts 0
• Los Angeles Rams 20 at Detroit Lions 16
Defense has been legislated out of football? That Chiefs-Rams MNF game is the future of NFL heretofore and forever? Come on…

• Arizona Cardinals 20 at Green Bay Packers 3½. R.I.P. the Mike McCarthy Era in Green Bay. Now maybe Aaron Rodgers can stop half-assing plays he doesn’t want to run and make his team (4-7-1 ATS) safe to bet on again.

• Miami Dolphins 17½, Buffalo Bills 17. Seriously, if you had money on this game, you deserved the pain, anguish and sweat this ½-point win/loss produced – that’s why you bet on it, right? Right?!?!?!?

• Seattle Seahawks 33, San Francisco 49ers 16. The Seahawks are now bearing down hard on locking up the no. 5 spot in the NFC playoffs. This sets up the tantalizing possibilities of Seattle as a wild-card round underdog at Dallas or Chicago, either winnable SU, followed by a matchup against either Los Angeles or New Orleans, for which the point spread will be well too high. Go Seahwaks!

• Los Angeles Chargers 33 at Pittsburgh Steelers 27
• Baltimore Ravens 26 at Atlanta Falcons 13½.
NFLbets is also trying hard not to overtly cheer root for the Ravens to nip the AFC North title from the Steelers in order to set up both Baltimore and Pittsburgh for egregious ATS losses against ill-set point spreads in the AFC wild card round…

• Denver Broncos 20, Cincinnati Bengals 10. Incredibly enough, the Broncos look set to go at least 9-6, with their next three at San Francisco, vs Cleveland and at Oakland. Maybe we can’t get the Ravens and Steelers in the playoffs, after all. No matter: The Broncos will be fun to bet against come the postseason, too.

• New York Giants 23, Chicago Bears 16½. This Bears loss feels 100% typical of an overachieving team on its first playoff run. NFLbets is already liking their chances against the Patriots at least ATS next week, but could be doomed to early playoff failure if they draw, likesay, Seattle.

• Oakland Raiders 33, Kansas City Chiefs 26. Andy Reid should be thrilled about the Kareem Hunt suspension. Now when his team goes into its typical humdrum final quarter of the season followed by an unseemly quick playoff exit, fans’ll blame it all on Hunt’s absence.

• Tampa Bay Buccaneers 24, Carolina Panthers 14. So much for the Panthers’ playoff hopes. If they can’t win on the road in Tampa Bay, well…

• Houston Texans 24, Cleveland Browns 13. How can this Texans team’s bandwagon be so bereft of passengers? It’s the logo, right? It’s gotta be the logo.

• New England Patriots 18, Minnesota Vikings 10. There’s no truth to the rumor that Adam Thielen wanted to know how the Patriots had run up the league’s second-best mark ATS before Bill Belichick told him to F*@*@ off.

• New York Jets 22 at Tennessee Titans 15½. At least the Titans won’t be embarrassingly backing into the playoffs this year.

• Philadelphia Eagles 22, Washington 13. Look out, everyone! The defending champs are making their move! (Or not.)

For an updated version of the NFL standings by ATS record, click here.

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