Cincinnati Bengals are NFLbets’ best bet amidst a brutal Sunday schedule for bettors

Sunday, 28 October 2018 10:59 EST

The betting market for week 8 of the NFL season will proverbially separate the men from the boys – can NFLbets still use that expression in 2018? Will we be shamed for assuming gender or stereotyping? We’ll start over.

Now this is a weekend of NFL betting that’ll proverbially separate the adults from the children. The way NFLbets sees it, we’ve already gotten a Thursday Night gimme in Miami Dolphins at Houston Texans and we’ve even doubled down on our Carolina Panthers +3 bet against the Baltimore Ravens. (Incidentally, that game is looking like such an outlier that NFLbets grows increasingly suspicious by the minute; won’t stop us from betting the f&#^&#^& out of it, though.

Right, then. Two down and … none to go? The rest of Sunday’s slate is none too attractive for the NFL bettor, as the bookmakers appeared to have fully adjusted to early-season anomalies and the unexpected.

Normally, we’d turn to the top of the standings board and look to bet against the Kansas City Chiefs (currently at a crazy 6-0-1 ATS), the Minnesota Vikings (5-1-1) and the Detroit Lions (5-1-0), but do we really want the Denver Broncos +9½ (down from +10½) at KC? Or the unreliable and unpredictable Seattle Seahawks +3 at Detroit? Nah.

What about San Francisco 49ers giving just 1½ points against the ludicrously awful Arizona Cardinals? The 49ers offense even without Garoppolo have shown the capacity to run up points – they’ve scored at least 25 points in the last five games – and again, the Cardinals are laughingly bad. But can you really trust the 2018 49ers? Nah.

The Chicago Bears -9½ vs the New York Jets is quite tempting after a couple of frustrating SU losses for the Bears. But do you really want to cover that many points with a team that barely got past the Cardinals in week 3? Nah.

Geez, we can’t even trust Sir Blake Bortles in England this week, even if this is his final on-field appeal to be traded to the New York Giants for Eli Manning. His ass got benched last week and his stud teammates on both sides of the ball appear to have lost nearly all confidence in the man’s ability to get scores.

NFLbets has therefore come to the conclusion that those NFL bettors who enjoy success in week 8 have done so due to an extremely lucky run after betting games purely for the gambling thrill or betting just a few games and possibly doubling up. The latter is NFLbets’ play, so we’ll be making just one more recommendation for Sunday: Take the Bengals -4½ versus the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

We won’t go into too much detail here, as we’re covering the Bengals as the sole attractive opportunity other than the aforementioned wagers we’ve already made. Suffice to say (write?) that the Bengals are just simply a better team than the Buccaneers, who are on an 0-4 ATS run. This point spread has been lowered by the absence of Vontaze Burfict, Giovani Bernard and John Ross from the active roster for this week, but the Bengals offense will certainly take over against a defense currently ranked dead last in the DVOA metric.

And just hold the big bucks until next week…