NFL Week 5 ATS results: Head coaches come, head coaches go…

Not even coronavirus could slow the interesting results of week 5: Both of last year’s Super Bowl participants got 40-burgers run up on ’em, Tom Brady forgot how many downs NFL football plays with, Romeo Crennel coached a team to a win for the first time since 2013 and the Titans reemerged to swamp the 2020 media darlings and get to 4-0.

The following are the results for the week 4 games of the 2020 NFL season, adjusted for the point spread. Game results listed in italics are those for which the SU and ATS result differed.

Chicago Bears 20 at Tampa Bay Buccaneers 15½. Perhaps most shocking of all shocks about the ostensibly shocking Chicago Bears is that NFLbets has yet to hear any talking head on tv or podcast proclaim that the Bears are The Worst 4-1 Team of All-Time. The more rational explanation is that maybe the Lions, Giants, Falcons and, yes, Buccaneers just aren’t that good; neither is Indianapolis, to whom the Bears lost SU/ATS in week 4. Chicago gets Carolina this week, so we’ll tell you in advance that we’re letting it ride on the Panthers.

Carolina Panthers 23 at Atlanta Falcons 13½. Speaking of the Falcons, the Game That Got Dan Quinn And Thomas Dimitroff Fired will one from the 2020 schedule that will be looked upon with much WTF.

Arizona Cardinals 23 at New York Jets 10. Repeat after NFLbets: Do note overestimate the Cardinals … do not overestimate the Cardinals. Remember that the Jets’ sole purpose in the 2020 season appears to be to make the league’s 31 other teams look better. (Must remember, must remember…)

Las Vegas Raiders 40 at Kansas City Chiefs 21
Miami Dolphins 43 at San Francisco 49ers 8½
. This is just about the point in the season when we realize that a) repeating as Super Bowl champions is really difficult (the back-to-back hasn’t happened in 15 years) and b) the Super Bowl hangover really does cripple teams (of the past 18 Super Bowl-losing teams, just 8 made the playoffs the following season and the only such team that improved year-on-year in the regular season after losing the Super Bowl were Kurt Warner’s Cardinals.).

Houston Texans 23½, Jacksonville Jaguars 14. Get this: If the Texans cover the 3½ points at the Tennessee Titans this Sunday, their interim head coach Romeo Crennel (career record SU 29-55) would be lifted to a career record of 42-42-2 ATS? The man is living proof that bookmakers know their business.

Minnesota Vikings 26 at Seattle Seahawks 20½. Unless the Seahawks are peaking early, NFLbets is absolutely considering Seattle the team to beat in the NFC – though should the season play out on relatively the current note, a Seahwaks-Packers NFC conference championship would probably come down to the final drive…

Cleveland Browns 31, Indianapolis Colts 23. not sure when to start believing in the 2020 Cleveland Browns, but this is one bandwagon that NFLbets won’t mind joining late.

New York Giants 34 at Dallas Cowboys 29½
Pittsburgh Steelers 30½, Philadelphia Eagles 29
Los Angeles Rams 23 at Washington FT 10
. Could the luckiest team in football be the 1-3-1 SU/1-4 ATS Philadelphia Eagles? As the Eagles are being torn apart by injuries, age and the magically disappearing Carson Wentz, their 1-3-1 is good enough to keep them in playoff contention: The Giants’ OL is as bad as ever and Saquon Barkley is out; the Football Team likewise has no offense and will continue to lose despite a couple of badasses on the defense; and the Cowboys just lost the QB on the best statistical run in franchise history. All jokes and kidding aside, Philly’s 6-9-1 could be enough to take this infuriating NFC Least…

Los Angeles Chargers 27 at New Orleans Saints 23. Trade Michael Thomas!

Baltimore Ravens 14½, Cincinnati Bengals 3. NFLbets hasn’t broken down the numbers yet, but we believe there is a direct correlation between the number of points the Ravens beat a given team by and that team’s overall quality. And Cincinnati is just not very good.

Tennessee Titans 42, Buffalo Bills 13. So much for breaking up the outlier’s numbers: The Titans are now 4-0 SU/1-3 ATS and NFLbets is just blaming it all on the havoc wreaked by Covid…

–written by Os Davis.

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