Here’s the thing: The NFL starts getting (slightly) more predictable now. The talking heads and twitterers all wring their metaphorical hands and rant/rave about the surprising nature of the NFL when they look at results like Buffalo Bills 27, Minnesota Vikings 6.
Aside from that stuff about 17-point underdogs in the NFL covering the spread about 56% of the time, maybe Kirk Cousins simply isn’t very good (or rather manages to look sharp in, likesay, three games of 16). Perhaps Josh Allen’s another sharp young quarterback designed to dominate in the pass-happy, QB-friendly NFL of the late 2010s, like Mahomes or Mayfield or Watson or Garoppolo (maybe).
And, “surprising” though some results from NFL week 3 were, the traditional week of revelation and enlightenment did not disappoint. Just look at the questions answered:
• Which team will be the biggest disappointment? The Houston Texans (at least for NFLbets).
• Which teams can be discussed as potential 14-game winners? The Los Angeles Rams definitely, the Kansas City Chiefs if you really believe an Andy Reid-led team can, likesay, go better than .500 in the second half of the season.
• Is the NFC South as wacky as ever? Yes.
• Which team will benefit from an easy schedule? The Miami Dolphins: Ineffably 3-0, and set to face the reeling (can we say that now?) New England Patriots in week 4.
• When will Belichick/Brady’s EEEEevil empire finally fall? Soon, baby, soon.
• Which quarterback will be injured for the year and kill his team’s chances? Jimmy G.
• Are the Cleveland Browns for real?
OK, so not *all* questions were answered in week 3 but generally this one was a fun week in which to lose money.
Below runs a full list of results for week 3 in NFLbets’ preferred format, i.e. adjusted for the point spread; all results listed in boldface indicate games in which the SU and ATS results differed. Snarky comments courtesy Os Davis.
Cleveland Browns 18, New York Jets 17. O, you marvelous Cleveland Browns: 3-0-0 ATS and getting 2½ at Oakland in week 4? NFLbets loves you like we love Eli Manning.
New York Giants 20½ at Houston Texans 16. Eli, you may have let us down in Houston, but we still love you. Just … start throwing a lot more interceptions, all right? You’re killing us in this prop bet.
Arizona Cardinals 14, Chicago Bears 10½. For those of you keeping score at home, the Chicago Bears currently have a mediocre-at-best (at best!) QB piloting a team with a scary-ass defense anchored by a superstar. So the same thing as in every season since Sid Luckman’s glory days.
Detroit Lions 26, New England Patriots 3. And speaking of glory days … Glory days: Over for these Patriots? NFL bettors kinda hope not, actually.
Kansas City Chiefs 32½, San Francisco 49ers 27. The highest point spread by five points last week was topped by these two. Kansas City can’t possibly do it again next week at Denver against that awesome pass rush – or can they?!?!?!?!?
Carolina Panthers 28½, Cincinnati Bengals 21. The Panthers are gonna actually win the South, aren’t they?
New Orleans Saints 43 at Atlanta Falcons 35½. Here’s a tip: Don’t bet on these NFC South inter-dvision games in 2018. Just don’t.
Tennessee Titans 19 at Jacksonville Jaguars 6. Guess you blew your load in New England last week, eh, Jacksonville?
Miami Dolphins 25, Oakland Raiders 20. Like Chucky says, Raiders fans, we’re friends ‘til the end – or at least ‘til the end of shooting on Hard Knocks season 15. We’re looking forward to 2½ more years of betting against Jon Gruden? Nice.
Buffalo Bills 44 at Minnesota Vikings 6. Most unpredictable game of week 4? Vikings -6½ at Los Angeles Rams.
Indianapolis Colts 16, Philadelphia Eagles 13½. Is it NFLbets’ imagination or did lots of folks pick the Eagles to repeat as Super Bowl champion? Not really liking that bet so much now, eh?
Los Angeles Rams 27½, Los Angeles Chargers 23. The Rams? Despite all the preseason hype and bandwagon-jumping (rarely good signs), this team could be the Real Deal – they’re currently 3-0 SU with three double-digit wins, 3-0 ATS and generating talk of 16-0. Not to mention lots of fun the watch.
Baltimore Ravens 21½, Denver Broncos 14. The Ravens: Who can understand them?
Seattle Seahawks 23, Dallas Cowboys 13. As opposed to the Cowboys, who are completely explicable: When you have two viable players on the offense, they’re easily keyed on.
Washington 31, Green Bay Packers 14½. Can we all agree to eliminate this phrase from our collective vocabulary: “I’d rather have Player X at Y percent than Player Z at 100 percent!” Aaron Rodgers has become living proof that this expression is bunk – but don’t take NFLbets’ word for it until they lose (at very least ATS) against Buffalo next week.
Pittsburgh Steelers 30, Tampa Bay Buccaneers 26. If Pittsburgh manages to top the AFC North this year and stumble their way to the Super Bowl – probably via Andy Reid’s fourth-quarter clock mismanagement – you can give me the NFC team minus points all day.
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